Guess who's back?

Its been so long! I just can't believe it. When I last posted I had promised to get back in a month. Its been a year!! To be honest, work sucked everything out - my creativity, my somewhat-decent poetic talent, and the desire to even just write. As I put my thoughts into words for the first time in a year, I am struck by the changes in me; none of which have been for the better. I have hardly written, not just here, but even to people who I used to correspond with regularly. People who were my friends, family and sometimes both. Does being a part of the corporate rat race mean that you stop being yourself and turn into one of the million rats? Does it mean that all your life, your time and your energies are concentrated merely on surviving and trying to escape unscathed through the battlefield? And what does success mean? Because as one of my wise friends used to say, even if you win the rat race, you are still just a rat. I had promised myself I would be different. I had sworn that I would not sink into the mire of this ugly battlefield. But now I find myself at a stage where I am battling just to survive each day. Everyday I sink deeper into the depths of an abyss that I might not be able to come out of. But I am desperate to see to it that I emerge. I promise myself that the next job will be better simply because I know what I want now. But do I really know what I want? Will I really be happy doing something else? And will I surely be able to resist getting lost in a never-ending maze? Because honestly, thats what i feel right now - trapped like an animal in headlights.